"It took years of dedication and highly questionable judgment to earn this rank."
Why settle for beginner mistakes when you can strive for mastery?
This isn't just a shirt; it's a testament to your commitment to chaos.
This tee is built for the bold, the reckless, and everyone who calls trouble a personality trait. Crafted from 100% organic ring-spun cotton, it provides a premium feel and a fit that looks sharp even when your choices are blunt.
The Specs:
Material: 100% Organic Ring-Spun Cotton (Certified GOTS/OCS—your habits are messy, but your shirt is clean).
Weight: 5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²) – Premium weight for a heavyweight champion of bad ideas.
Details: Single jersey with durable double-needle stitching.
Fit Note: Medium fit. US customers should order a size up to accommodate a larger belt (or just for a relaxed fit).
Size guide
| BODY LENGTH (inches) | CHEST WIDTH (inches) | SLEEVE LENGTH (inches) | |
| S | 27 ⅛ | 19 ½ | 8 ⅞ |
| M | 28 ¾ | 21 | 9 ½ |
| L | 29 ½ | 22 ¼ | 9 ⅝ |
| XL | 30 ¼ | 23 ⅜ | 9 ⅞ |
| 2XL | 31 ⅛ | 25.00 | 10 |
| 3XL | 31 ⅞ | 26 ⅝ | 10 ¼ |
| 4XL | 32 ⅝ | 28 ½ | 10 ¼ |
| 5XL | 33 ⅛ | 30 ½ | 10 ¼ |
| BODY LENGTH (cm) | CHEST WIDTH (cm) | SLEEVE LENGTH (cm) | |
| S | 69 | 49.5 | 22.5 |
| M | 73 | 53.5 | 24 |
| L | 75 | 56.5 | 24.5 |
| XL | 77 | 59.5 | 25 |
| 2XL | 79 | 63.5 | 25.5 |
| 3XL | 81 | 67.5 | 26 |
| 4XL | 83 | 72.5 | 26 |
| 5XL | 84 | 77.5 | 26 |